Unfulfilled Dreams
by crystaltokyo9849
Summary: When Anne is born, Bertha Shirley is sure her dream of happiness is complete, but what does fate have in store for the happy family? Bertha's thoughts before she died...


Disclaimer: I don't own Anne or any of the characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: I don't own Anne _or_ any of the characters, settings, etc. that appear in L.M. Montgomery's books.

One-shot about Bertha Shirley's thoughts and feelings before she died

I used to be very lonely…before my Anne came. Walter went off to teach at the little schoolhouse near the brook everyday, and when he was home, he was busy grading papers. As for myself, I sat out on the porch alone, or sometimes with Mrs. Aurelia Nelson when she cared to join me, and knitted…knitted with all the strength one has when she has nothing else to do. I listened while Mrs. Nelson went on and on about her nine children and their mischief, what she had made for supper, how nosy her new neighbor was, etc. I had to stop myself from laughing when Mrs. Nelson complained about her nosy neighbor, because Mrs. Nelson herself was such a gossip, but never would I run down Mrs. Nelson, because she's the only friend I have living close by.

Bolingbroke is a very beautiful little town, with such lovely valleys and hills, and such quaint little houses, with lawns sprinkled with flowers. I was sure when I arrived here as a bride one year ago that I would be the happiest woman who ever lived, but it soon became apparent when we moved into the poorest house in the town that people looked down on Walter and I, even though we were B.A.s and schoolteachers. But to me, our little yellow house, which is always filled to the brim with love and happiness, is the loveliest house on the block.

Anne Bertha Shirley came into the world with all the loveliness and sunshine a beautiful March morning can bring. It was a painless birth, and Anne was the most beautiful child I ever laid eyes on. Many people who came to see her said she was awfully thin and some even dared to say she was homely, but my quick temper and icy stares soon shut them up. Anne has silky red hair, just like Walter's, and my grey-green eyes. I will always love her, this wee little girl-child, and she will always have a place in my heart.

Anne is growing rapidly day by day, and she's so healthy and full of energy. She's six months old now, and has such rosy cheeks. I have so many plans for Anne. By the time she's six or seven, I will enroll her in the very same schoolhouse as her father teaches, and then she will of course go to Bolingbroke High School, which is only three miles away. After that, I plan to send her to Redmond no matter what. I'm already saving money to put her through. I know it will be hard, but Anne deserves it. She deserves the best, my beautiful little daughter who stole my heart. I spend my days stitching Anne such pretty little dresses, with lace and frills and puffed sleeves, which seem to be the fashion these days. I know it's extravagance and we really can't afford it, but I can't help it. I just love Anne so much.

I'm afraid my health is declining. I'm so tired and unhappy all the time, for no particular reason. Walter will call for the doctor in two days, because the doctor is on vacation, but I'm afraid all of a sudden. I feel my sickness is no common thing, because I never had symptoms like this before.

I have scarlet fever! I still haven't gotten over the shock. Right now, I'm confined in my room, resting. The doctor says that I must not see, or be near Anne, because she might catch it, and scarlet fever has no cure. I'm going to die soon. I don't want to! There's still so much I have to do. I want a part in Anne's life. I want Anne to know that I love her with all my heart. I want to see Anne grow up into the beautiful accomplished woman I know she will be. I want to plan Anne's wedding, and be there when her children are born. I want to spend the rest of my old days playing with Anne's children, making little outfits for them, and _then_ I want to die, die in peace and fulfillment. How can I witness Anne's life, do all these things, if I die _now_? Oh please God, show me a miracle! I've been looking forward to motherhood ever since I was fifteen, and now it's going to be snatched away from me? It's not fair! It's just not fair!

Only a few days passed, but I feel as if I aged thirty years. I'm barely able to get out of my bed now. Constantly, I need assistance. Mrs. Nelson has been kind enough in taking care of Anne these past few days. I don't know how to thank her. Perhaps if I live, I will make her my special carrot cake that she's really fond of.

This day when I woke up, I could tell it was going to be my last. I don't know how, but I just could. All through my morning rituals, I tried to savor my last day on Earth, but all I felt was despair, despair because I couldn't see Anne for the last time. It has been twenty days since I last saw or heard her.

It's afternoon right now, and something compels me to call Walter, and _beg _him to bring Anne. He looks reluctant, but seeing my face, finally goes downstairs, lifts Anne from her bassinet, and brings her to my room. She is sleeping, her little chest going up and down. I gently grab hold of her little fist, and bring it to my cheek.

"Take care of her Walter," I whisper, before closing my eyes forever. My last thought is that I know Walter will take good care of her. I know she'll grow up in happiness and sunshine much like I did. I know she'll be an accomplished woman and fulfill my dear little plans. I know everything will be alright……………………at least, I hope.


End file.
